This is ongoing for the past weeks and I can’t really explain why. I know I’ve always been a pastry fan, anything that’s drenched in butter, frostings and the works to embellish and flavor a humble piece of baked dough. It all started one day at the mall, having my hair shaved and still on an emotional roller coaster with “stuffs”. I can remember the smell of pomade from the old man beside me as my designated barber bombard my fragile scalp with a heavy hand and a buzzing hair clipper. I was just there staring at myself, face glistening from the harsh fluorescent lights around me, showing every nooks and crannies of my imperfect face. The barber turned my face into the clear door of the shop to shave my head’s right side and there, I saw a kiosk selling what seemed to be confetti of colors conveying a message of relevance and comfort. Dots of colors in circular form covered the racks of the refrigerated glass cabinets, choking my eyes with glee. I sigh. Like an adolescent seeing his crush once again. The barber splashed my head with aftershave and the sting of alcohol on newly shaved skin jolted me, realizing the barber was done with me. After I paid up, I went to the enchanting sight of rows upon rows of cupcakes. I bought myself one and held it in my hand with utmost dexterity.
Striding along the mall with a cupcake in my hand, I felt giddy all of a sudden. I stared at the cupcake that I was holding and saw the florettes of icing in different colors. Finally I stopped at my favorite coffee shop and ordered a cup and placed that tempting cupcake of mine on the table. I just stared at its magnificence, wondered how that chocolate pastry below the clouds of hardcore sweetened butter tasted like. Then my coffee arrived, savoring the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the alluring colors of the cupcake. I was thinking this is foreplay. I picked it up and placed it in my mouth. Taking deep breaths my mouth started salivating till the first peak of whipped cream, butter and castor sugar touched the roof of my mouth, feeling that cloudy softness rapture along my stiff palette. My teeth sank into the chewy and moist goodness of the cake, probing deeper as my upper and lower teeth connected and displacing that big morsel into my mouth. I exhaled so hard that it sent shivers down my spine. Moistened and drenched with my saliva the cake started to melt, feeling that sense of excitement once again for another bite. But the cupcake was such a tease. It doesn’t want to be hastened. I knew, like a partner, it wanted to be consumed slow and with grace. Caressed by my tongue, the morsel cloaked me in satisfaction. I chewed on further. I could feel crumbs of chocolate cake embracing the walls of my mouth while swirls of sweetness drape my teeth with elation. Don’t swallow, my cupcake seemed to be saying. And I obeyed dutifully. It was both painful and gratifying at the same time while my eyes shut. But I’m just human I thought and eventually succumbed to the urge to swallow. Heavy breaths upon another I could feel the churned goodness’ talons clutching my throat. I can’t resist I reckoned and pushed it deeper inside me. My lips pressing like a child committing his first sin, wetting them with my tongue. I released a sigh while looking at the unconsumed cupcake in front of me. I know it was telling me “don’t… not yet.” 
My heart was pounding when I peeled off more the paper cup that was dressing it. It was totally nude now with all its natural dark skin of chocolate. I knew I was in control now. I won’t be submissive anymore. I opened my mouth once again and put it in my mouth. I know how it wanted to be treated gently but I’m rough now, my mind clouded with temptation. I bit, licked, and took advantage of its gentleness and unabashed sweetness. Bit every crumb and swirled it around my mouth as I licked off the sugar from my fingers laid with its oozing sweetness. I’m hungry for it, sweat forming on my forehead and nose. The coffee doesn’t matter anymore as I feel myself choking with its goodness as it never wanted to enter me. Then it finally succumbed to my yearning and finally slipped down my throat. It was so explosive I closed my eyes in satisfaction and had the weirdest urge to light up a cigarette with my naked body covered in sheets in mind. I wiped off the sweat from my nose and stared at the cupcake’s robe of corrugated paper cup. I smiled, my eyes closed and satisfied. Then I felt a small pain at the back of my head and heard a buzzing noise.
“Sir sorry po” the barber told me after he saw the dot of blood from my nape, poked by his buzzing hair clipper. Then that was the moment I realized that I was just day dreaming inside the barber shop. I smiled at my silly self and said to the barber that it was ok. I paid up and went straight to the cupcake kiosk in front of the barber shop, bought a pack of six chocolate frosted ones, rode a jeep home and went straight to my room. I placed them on my side table near the bed and thought that it’s true when people say “once you go black, you’ll never go back.” and silently laughed at my odd behavior that day. From then on, I never missed a craving of those silly ol’ cupcakes, I was so consumed by the craving that people thought that it was actually a person. I can’t blame them though. I talk about them cupcakes like they were actual people in the first place. Today, I’m ten pounds heavier but contented with my cupcakes. Even in my disfigured, unflattering, sugar rich form, they would always not mind and try their best to satisfy me, and without the commitment- Haha!
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