(from the FABULOUS! Blogazine Feb-Mar Issue)
Gay Love is the topic I imposed on contributors for this issue. It’s supposed to be romantic, almost giddy-ishly childish. But then as I waited for articles, I noticed the frequency was less than the number of the razor clipper of choice of my barber when I go to trim my hair. Zero. Odd, but I can’t help but think that most of the writers I asked to, seemed to be jaded with love, or don’t know where to start or simply pressured by the lovingly imposed task. Odd, but seemingly predictable for me. I’m not jaded, but I do shun the idea. Coincidentally though, that upon writing this column, Aretha Franklin was belting at my background singing “God Bless the Child.” God bless the child that got his own, the song states… and maybe that’s the situation here. Maybe in jaded-ness, one finds his independence, his own self, thus singleness. And singleness merged with independence can be addictive. Speaking for myself, that’s my case for now.
Relationships for me is always imparted and shared. Like the love that comes with it, it should overflow from within in order to share it. Damn the script writer who made Tom Cruise say “You complete me” and the eventual eternal existence of the misleading statement. All I know is that you should love yourself first with all of your discrepancies, before you could love someone. And not find the emptiness or what’s lacking in you from others through relationships. That’s where I think the pitfall of jaded people starts. There is emotional dependency because of the lack of it for one self. No I’m not asking people to simply be narcissistically in love with themselves, but more of acceptance, and seeing your self in a different perspective as a vessel of love. And trust me, I learned that the hard way.
Sorry I’m becoming too preachy but I’m confident that I did hit some soft spots there. Susan Sarandon’s character on this particular movie that I totally forgot the title of encompassed the realistic view of what Love is and why people seem to be craving for relationships all the time… She uttered these lines in a very casual manner and with conviction… “we just need witnesses to our lives.” Hurtfully frank but true. We engage ourselves in the hooplah called relationships because we primarily needed witnesses to our existence. And as humans we naturally become emotionally attached with the idea backed up with media romanticizing the real spectrum it. The thought of being alone, growing old seemed to be threatening at the back of our minds, that in the billions of people around the world, one life wouldn’t matter unless you put the effort to be seen. That’s why we try to achieve something, we set goals, and involve other people to engage in our live and that includes wives, husbands, friends, partners even for some, pets.
Bottomline here. Am pointing out how you see relationships and clearly defining it for yourself. It’s not an obligation that we should accomplish but at the same time it’s a very joyous interaction at the same time. No one is wrong on how they respectfully view it for as long as there is happiness involved. I’m speaking for the single people who love being single but I also commend the people who are in relationships and fighting for them through thick and thin and working it through the true sense of the word. Love, in the first place, is what makes us human and special so why not?