Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Pen: Short Story


"How come Fidel... you never came?"

Fidel just sat there in silence... thinking what to say to the person in front of him. he's confused on what to answer back at the commanding stance of Pete... surmising about the time when they were to rendezvous behind the state library, decisive of their act to drop everything just to salvage their love... that was ages ago....

a man in uniform entered the room... and silence suddenly sliced the thick air of tension...

"Mr. President... its time for your next meeting…the Agri Militant group BINHI, is next in line sir... Mr. Fidel Arreleano, your time is up... please proceed to the holding area..." the PSG guard ordered...

Fidel just stood up... looking at the only person he loved all his life... now the president of the Philippines... with sorry eyes, wanting to explain to him what really happened... but his goal for Urban reform, and having been tasked by his group to represent them in this meeting came first...

"Thank you Mr. President for your time..." Fidel uttered and left...

Pete just stood there... half president, half human... wanting to embrace the man who changed his life forever.

Fidel just walked towards his staff waiting at the left wing of Malacanang, eager to know what happened during the meeting...

Kano, a young optimistic amerasian approached him and asked for details... but Fidel just walked past him, his heart sinking fast and tears were lining his tired eyes.

Fidel wanted to tell Pete why he never arrived at the back of the state library. He was torn between being the diligent son of a sick mother and an amorous lover to the future president of the Philippines. He had no choice but to look after his mom who's terminally ill.

Fidel's group, shocked with what just happened stood there, still wondering.

Fidel opened his car and took hold of the pouch that was inside his car's compartment. He retrieved something from inside, a pen. Pete gave that to him at law school when they were still younger during the 60's. It was only to be used whenever they write to each other.

He closed his eyes as tears gushed and remembered the pen Pete used to sign some documents a while ago... He's still using the same pen like the one he’s holding now.

He never forgot. Fidel thought.

Pete just sat there, listening with deaf ears to this old man in front of him...all he can hear was the problems of the agricultural sector being bombarded on him... he wasn’t annoyed really... frustrated to be exact... that for the longest time he's moved on from his past with Fidel, became a senator, married and now the president of his country....

He can never get the one true love he's longed for.


Pete still remembered how shocked he was upon seeing Fidel in front of him. He never expected that the two of them would go to two different directions and end up face to face still in this room. A far cry from their hippie days in law school, idealist and free spirited.

His hands were numb and stained with the ink from his old pen that Fidel and He exchanged when they were younger. He kept it like it was gold. This was his only link to his past. Now that both of them were way their prime and summoned by their nationalistic spirit to serve their land in their own respective fields, Pete found it hard to accept the realization of what can and can’t be.

His chest was pounding, wanting to run after Fidel. But his duty as the commander in chief of the land beacons far more than his personal yearnings.

He stood up and excused himself from the old man in front of him and went to the personal space of the president, tailor made for him and with no guards to watch over him.

There he couldn’t contain the surge of emotions and succumbed to his human side. Pete sat sown in weakness and sobbed.

Fidel started his car and went out of the compound of the new presidential palace, adjacent the old one. And as he gave his ID to the guards, a big blast boomed from behind him making his car shake with the impact. Screams and the sound or collapsing walls filled the air, utter chaos.

He remembered Pete was still inside.

Fidel went out of his car and immediately ran towards the building where Pete was at. Dead and injured bodies littered his paths... the smell of smoke filled the air. His tears were pouring like crazy. Sweat trickling down his nape. Then he paused, shocked with the magnitude of the blast.

The presidential office was in rubble,
like the scenes from 911 in New York...

He fell to his knees...

shouting the name of the only person he loved all his life....


Fidel shouted over and over again.

The smell of burning flesh and smoke caressed the thick air. The smoke blinding him almost, but he just kneeled there, speechless and numb.

He collected himself back again and shouted Pete’s name louder and explained himself why he never arrived at the library eons ago. He couldn’t contain the woe he has inside, the longing, the doubting of their relationship and finally with pride he shouted that he loved him so much.

The sound of sirens echoed and masking his shouts. He sobbed so much that gunk from the ash and his tears dirtied his face.

He yelled again, louder.

Then fell silent...

Fidel knew Pete was gone and that inside the pile of burning rubble was his body. He looked at his hands and realized he was still holding the pen Pete gave him and held it tightly, the withered skin on his hand feeling every round edge and metal parts of the pen.

The sound of chaos around him can’t match his rebelling soul and heart... gasping at the pen he bowed his head almost in prayer.

Then a soldier took hold of Fidel and dragged him towards an armored vehicle.

The soldier sat him there…

and was shocked to see PETE inside.

"Thank you soldier," Pete said in gratitude... “Secure the area of the palace... and I’m placing the country on red alert... carry on soldier"

"yes Mr. President" the soldier replied and went ahead with his tasks....

The vehicle moved on, towards a secure place. Inside the metal armor of such vehicles, are the torn hearts of two simple human beings, just wanting to love each other, tagged along by their abilities to lead, and the infancy of their first battle with country over self.

At the end of the day, they knew after much service to what they believed in, the bottom line is love…

Love that has no hierarchy, race or gender.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Fredo: Short Story

It was the final task at hand he thought. He faced the bulbous façade of the cave.

It’s the last straw, and his mission will be over. Burdened with the mission bestowed on him as the sole bearer of the ring, with no one but Sammy beside him for support, he inched his first steps towards the cave.

Steps, heavy as the boulders surrounding him and slippery with gunk that embrace the ground, he pushed through. He remembered the great Alophea reminding him of the giant inside the cave and the damned beauty of the wise Retha guarding the line of light a couple of inches from the mouth of the dark cave. Alophea mentioned that the guardian would welcome anyone with a pure spirit and bestow to them the Light of Guerre, a mythical lamp that would only light up with fuel of a pure soul, and that the ring should dwell and flourish inside the pits of darkness.

Fredo pushed on. He could see his soiled feet pacing the ground. He couldn’t really gasp the thought of why the whole of their nation’s salvation from the evil warlock Vharkum was to be determined by a creature like him. Vharkum, a spirit god, abused his powers to inflict evil around the nation of Zoer, a nation of spirits, dwarfs and elves in peace with their surroundings, now fast becoming a hodgepodge of evil and ire coming from the great warlock of Cer Hoava Arq, the place where Vharkum created the ring of evil, the same ring that’s initiated Fredo’s mission to deliver it inside the Cave of the Giant.

Soon Fredo reached the mouth of the cave with Sammy behind him. They just looked at each other and hoped the guardian of the cave would appear. Fredo observed the line that separated the light from the outside to the pitch black innards of the cave. He gasped for air. This leg of his mission he thought was the hardest. Both of them looked up upon hearing the songs of sirens coming from above then a vertical beam of bright light appeared in front of them. Amazed with what was happening, the two just stood there as a lady clad in precious ornate jewelry and crystal armor materialized from the light. Fredo was mesmerized upon seeing the beautiful face of Retha, the porcelain skin, the pointy ears and the glossy pink lips of the guardian. Retha closed her eyes and the symphony of an ancient language was heard by Fredo.

“Hare ayerna efta du Zoeria Fredo as Sammy… feshnah alta erthi anno porwe esnum alvuer… sulo tar dulum arhem nilaste aravelum…” (I’ve been expecting you both citizens of Zoer, Fredo and Sammy… the light of Guerre I bestow on you for your mission… the gods shall guide you inside the cave of the giant) The wise Retha uttered.

Upon hearing this, Fredo just scratched his head for he never understood a thing Retha just said. He took a deep breath, almost laborious from the taxing voyage towards the cave and uttered: “Oi girl… haggard na nga kami ni Samantha, wa na nga ako nakapag moisturize everyday, tapos chuchuva mo pa akish ng latir? Wa ko learn yan day!... pero in fairness… maganda ang audio mo and with production number pa… Winner!” Sammy agreed with Fredo and said “ay true Freeda… winner nga ang enter the dragon… super eksena lang talaga…”

Puzzled with the reactions of the Zoerians, Retha just gave the light of Guerre to them and let them push through with their mission.

The pitch black darkness of the cave almost blinded the two until Sammy suggested that Fredo should turn on the light of Guerre. “Girl… light mo na yan… so dark in here na oh…” Sammy asked. “Wa ko learn Samantha! Paanish na itish?” Fredo replied. The two stopped and felt the lamp Fredo was holding. They’re looking for a switch along the lamps body until a loud yell reverberated inside the pitch black. “Oh my Freeda… may ibang utaw ditto!” Sammy said and then he felt a sharp slap on his face and heard Fredo saying “bakla ka!!! Puke ko na kaya finefelt mo gagah!” Sammy apologized from the mishap and then the lamp suddenly emitted its purpose. Finally they could see inside the big cave surrounding them.

The y moved on further inside until they reached the center of the cave, a vast expanse of space with an unfathomable ceiling above. “Samantha… arrive na tayo gurl…” Fredo whispered to Sammy. Fredo remembered the instructions that was given to him. Inside the vast space is an altar where the Cer Hoava Arq ring would fit and end the evil doings of Vharkum. They moved on, searching for an altar until they reach an elevated boulder and from there could see the altar from afar. “Bingo freeda! Ayun na kaya ang altar… tara na… lets go… NOW NA!” Sammy jubilantly said. Then as they went up the boulder Frode could feel his foot sinking down the boulders, as if walking on pillows. The two looked at each other and wondered why the boulders were such. Then Sammy blurted “winner ito freeda… cushioned ang flooring ng cave ah… super sossy!” then Sammy started to jump up and down the softness of where they were standing and then Fredo joined in too. Up and down they went while laughing and giggling, an escape from the treacherous mission that they have. Then suddenly they felt the cushiony feeling stiffened, bit by bit, elevating them further up. Fredo jumped hard and went off balanced from the stiffened cushion that they were jumping on while Sammy fell to his but, still on the boulder. Sammy now face down could feel in his hands how hard the boulder has become. Fredo stood up and placed the light he was holding to where Sammy was and was shocked at what he saw.

Sammy could see Fredo from below him, uttering something he still couldn’t understand. Then finally he got the message after Fredo shouted: “UTEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!! BAKLA!!!! DAKS NA DAKS NA DAKS NA UTEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!”

Sammy then looked down to where he was standing and realized that he was standing on an enlarged penis. After wondering who was it, he turned his back from Fredo could see the big nostrils, lips, hairy chest and muscled torso of the giant. A big roar echoed all over them, signaling that the giant was awake. Sammy, after learning he was standing on the penis head jumped towards the base and got tangled from the pubic hair that were growing there. Freda wanted to save Sammy immidiately but the giant is starting to sit up from his sleep. “Samantha!!!!! Escape ka na diyan!!!! Iska na tayo!!!!” Fredo shouted. After detangling himself from the pubic hairs of the giant, Sammy yelled back at Fredo “Vhaklum!!!!! Go ka na sa altar… puts mo na yung ringalu!!! Yung mahiwagang Cer Hoava Arq ring or in other words….. CHAring!!!!!....Gow na Girl… ako na bahala dito!!!!” In a split second, Fredo jumped from his place and ran towards the altar. He could feel the rumble of the giant’s movements shaking the whole space.

Sammy has to do something fast. But he knew that he has no match with the giant. As the giant tried to stand up again, Sammy formulated a very innovative plan to distract the giant. Sammy ran towards the nipples of the giant and placed his tiny hands around it. The nipple was big enough to occupy both his hands and Sammy tried to rub it briskly making them stiffened. A big moan was heard all over the room as Sammy was doing this, swinging from one nipple to the other. And as he noticed the giant’s penis stiff as a wall… he ran towards it and jumped, hugging the hardness with his arms and legs and slide gently downwards. Sammy repeated that formula over and over again.

Fredo finally reached the altar and located the slot where the ring would fit and open the floodlight that would eliminate the evil enveloping their nation. He retrieved the ring from his chest and placed it on the slot. It lit up. But after that nothing happened after. Puzzled, Fredo was trying his best to figure out what went wrong. All the instructions were given to him and he followed them all but nothing’s happing so far.

The Giant finally stood up as Sammy hanged for dear life on the penis of the giant. Roar after roar the giant shouted at Fredo and coming towards him. Sammy in a final surge of strength he went towards the big head of the giant’s penis and with two hands, stroked it furiously like cleaning the back of their water buffalos back home. Step after big step, the giant neared Fredo’s location, still figuring out what went wrong. Sammy was now shouting, tired from the brisk massages he was giving the giant penis head and surprisingly, as the giant is about to step his foot on Fredo at the altar, the giant stopped and in a jolty movement released his seed in orgasm, squirting it on the altar and on Fredo. Fredo was shocked as the vast amounts of gooey liquid enveloped him and suddenly, the whole altar lit up and the ring transformed into a metal rod with a smoothen tip, beaconing its light all over. “This is it Samantha!!!! This is it!!!! “ Fredo shouted. But still nothing happened after that.

The giant, now back to his senses, want towards Fredo again, Roaring in madness like never before. “Baklaaaaaaaaa!!!! Wa effect na naman ang CHAring!!!!! What to doooo!!!!!!” Fredo yelled in panic. The giant fast approaching, he remembered the words of Alophea “the ring should dwell and flourish inside the pits of darkness.” Uncertain and puzzled still, Freda removed his trousers and placed his rear above the glowing golden rod that was the ring before then slowly, the rod entered his rear inch after inch while Freda was repeating within him the words of Alophea “the ring should dwell and flourish inside the pits of darkness.” As the whole thing entered his inside, the whole cave started to shake vigorously, like an earthquake. Freda could feel the coldness and large girth of the metal inside him then looked up and saw that the ceiling of the space was opening and welcomed the light inside.

The giant suddenly turned to ash as the light hit him, Sammy fell down and felt the turbulent wind swirling inside the cavern. Petals of fragrant flowers and feather of angels played along the wind like confetti. Then the wind blow towards the gaping hole above them. Sammy approached Fredo still with the golden rod inside him and said “Girl!!!! In fairness… Talented ka!!! Swak na skaw sa panlasa mo and Shinishing na rin ang evilness ni Vharkum!”

The confetti wind blew all over the nation of Zoer, sweeping off the evilness of Vharkum. The land was finally at peace again and as the whole nation celebrated the heroism of the two Zoerians that faught all obstacles for the triumph of good, the little gay Zoerian boy named Freda finally realized the value of what he did for his nation and the pleasures of being a bottom, while Sammy’s traumatic experience made him to a size queen, like really a BIG TIME size queen.

the end

THE WINDOWS: A Short Story

“For Christ’s sake Ted, how are we supposed to survive this if you’re out of you job? How are we supposed to pay the bills? You’re just barely 30 years old and jobless…” a woman with a vindictive tone stressed out to Ted. Ted just sat there in his easy chair while his wife nagged him relentlessly. Ted had a bad day earlier and that his temperament didn’t handle it well. His volatile behavior sent him jobless after bad mouthing his boss back at the office. The sound he heard from his wife, due to its frequency and repetition became vague to him, more of distant noise coming from the pits of the earth. Nothing made sense to him really, and after he indulged his temper at his office, the last thing he wanted to do is to give another serving to his wife. Ted stood up as his wife sang the same nagging bit, and went upstairs towards the attic where his personal space and office was located.

He could still hear his wife’s ire as he sat down his cozy chair near the window. There he lit up a cigarette and opened the window a bit. He took a deep puff of the cigarette, feeling the smoke filling his lungs and then exhaled it to an almost straight line. He looked down and observed the neighborhood they were in. Silent roofs, with protruding TV antennas, walls upon walls of houses, littered his sight. Then his view chanced upon one window that was still lit a couple of meters from him. Ted could see the fixed bed of cool white cotton, warm lights illuminating the desk near the window, and the curtains that flimsily riding the cool wind of the night. He took a second puff of smoke and there he saw this young man, roughly in his early 20’s entering his room. The man placed his sports bag on his bed, and sat down near the desk. Ted could see the profile of the man, youthful face, with a regal nose and droopy asian eyes. Ted just sat there, watching, and almost jealous of this guy in his room, taking in all the silence and an almost serene look to his face. Comparing to his life now, Ted knew, his was so different now with a nagging wife to boot.

Ted finished his cigarette as he went on watching the guy behind that window. He searched his pocket to look for his pack of cigarette and was distracted by the appearance of a woman and kissed the guy on the lips. Ted lit up his cigarette as he watched the couple disrobed and became more intimate. Ted leaned on to have a closer look and gingerly reached for the lamp switch near him and turned it off. The woman was caressing the guy’s crotch as she nibbled his ears with languid movements. The heat that was coming from that room was so intense, Ted could almost feel the warmth on his face. Ted was so in to what he was watching that he just caught himself rubbing himself. His hands could feel the stiffness of his nipples, and the goose bumps that were crawling down his back. Ted’s breath deepened, almost gasping as the two crinkled the cotton sheets lining the guy’s bed, passionate groping, the supple breast of the girl being caressed by the strong hands of the man. The man placed the woman face down to the bed and removed her underwear, he squatted behind her and forcefully pumped her from behind. Ted was fondling his hardness inside his office pants, feeling the wetness that was coming out of his shaft, slowly caressing it up and down. He could feel he was getting close at every stroke, immediately placing his pants down as he jerked off faster. Ted closed his eyes as he climaxed, feeling the warm juice of his member cascading along his cheeks. He took another deep breath as he looked upon the couple again. The lights were off.

Due to his free time because of being jobless, Ted’s little secret became a regular thing for him. Ted would sit by his window and watch the couple have sex. He even memorized the day and time of such occurrence. He knew within him that he can be bordering stalking now, though in denial still and always reassure himself that a little peeping tom wouldn’t hurt. But as time went by, he noticed that he was already obsessing about him in the attic, almost planning his day around the times that he was about to watch the couple. He forgot about his working wife and just be silent around her. He became complacent and inadequate for his goals, practically crumbling down and succumbed to his obsession.

One time as he was preparing himself near his window, he saw the familiar form of the couple. Something was odd he assumed as they weren’t really as what he always see them to be. He could see the fierce face of the woman talking forcefully to the man in front of her. The man was trying to explain something to the woman but was slapped shut by her, immediately walking out of him and out the door. Ted could see the sorry state of the man, almost sympathizing with him. Ted’s live sex show, all of a sudden, became this real life drama unfolding, much like a silent movie, Ted surmised. He prepared himself to end this silly endeavor. Then suddenly, the lonely man lay down on his bed, just looking up his ceiling. Ted just sat there and puffed his cigarette heavily, anticipating. The man started to touch himself, feeling his whole body, mouth open, back arching in pleasure… till he removed all his clothing. Ted had this feeling of pleasure upon seeing the man without his usual partner. Trying to asses himself on why he was finding pleasure on a man touching himself. His mind went blank and realized that he’s already fondling his hardness. Ted watched intently, stimulating himself with each pulsating stroke. The man was stroking his member furiously now and in a burst of energy released his juice all over his chest. Gasping for air, he laid there, playing with his man juice and even trying to taste it. Ted found that scene curiously enticing and followed the man’s climax with his.

It’s been this way for a while. Ted was always looking forward for another take with the man behind the window. Though in denial with the nature of his acts, Ted didn’t really delve into it, for as long as he found pleasure, it doesn’t really matter he thought. Then came the moment when Ted’s beliefs were put to the test. One night while he was sleeping beside his wife, he caressed his tired wife like it was the first time they did it. His wife, bewildered but curiously satisfied with his act, just succumbed to the moment. As he was caressing his wife’s breast, a sudden instinctual surge guided his hands towards his wife’s member. He stopped upon his hand’s arrival at its destination, and felt disappointed which was odd for him. Ted did hope for another thing which he can’t deny, finally realized the fact that he was longing more of the man behind the window than his wife. He stopped, went back to sleep and left his wife guessing and hanging.

The next day, Ted was adamant to go back to his attic, and another view of that man, who for weeks he’s been watching so eagerly. Standing at the door, he was thinking deeply. His breath was almost racing beyond him. The hair on his back started to rise as he heard the screech of the door as he opened it. The smell of stale air and smoke filled his senses. He closed his eyes and took it all in. This simple and foolish endeavor has transcended into something that his mind and totality couldn’t really grasp. Ted knew that something within him was changed along the way, he was thinking none of them were for the better. He neared the window that witnessed everything about him lately and took another glimpse of the other window from where the nameless man resides. The lights from there were off, only the stark darkness filling the space within. Both relieved and disappointed, Ted went on his chain smoking. He was relieved because he knew his behavior went beyond his limitations and disappointed for he has to stop this sooner or later. He pressed the cigarette but on the ashtray as he was preparing to leave and finally move on with his life and then the light from the infamous window glisten his watery eyes. With widened eyes he leaned forward to have a better view and felt a pang of jealousy upon what he was viewing. The man was sitting on his usual chair near the window while an unmistakable muscular pair of legs lay on the bed. Ted couldn’t believe what he was looking at. The man on the bed stood up, naked, his hairy chest and an angular, handsome face soon visible to Ted. The two kissed passionately and soon after the other man dressed up and finally left. His heart was filling with ire and the odd feeling of jealousy, obsession. Soon after, Ted just realized that he just finished five cigarettes consecutively.

Ted turned his back on the window while he wallowed on his undeniable surge of emotions, the darkness of the night enveloping the sky. He heard noises from the other window and caught his attention. There he saw the man still sitting on his chair being attacked by another person clad in black. He could see the fear from the man’s actions as he begged for his life. The person cloaked in black was holding a knife and was starting to stab him furiously. Ted was shocked with the succession of the events that as he collected himself, it was over. The white cotton sheets of the bed was splattered with red spots of blood, the man he was viewing for some time, was on the floor, swimming in his own blood. Utterly bothered and disturbed, Ted just stood there with a blank face. Time flew swiftly and when he finally recovered from the shock, Ted ran for the shower to relieve himself further. As the water cascaded throughout his face, he could feel his heart still racing, his guilt wading silently on his spine. The cold rush of water just relieved the physical flushing on his skin, but can’t cleanse the disturbed soul inside him. He sat on the cold tiles and could almost see the blood from the murdered man flowing off his feet. Ted was kicking the bloodied water away from him. Obviously traumatized, he just continued to sit there, sobbing silently as he was caressed by the calming water of the shower.

After he showered, and his mind was relatively sound for a while, Ted managed to lock the door of the attic and even added some more padlocks to secure it further. Days went by and he never left the security of his bedroom. His wife now was acting strangely on him. Ted grew thinner with each day, not taking in the food his wife was giving him. He could still feel the same emotions on that eventful day, from the stamp of scare on the man’s face to how many times he was stabbed like an animal. Ted couldn’t let it out of him. Then one day, as his wife was about to leave the house for work, ted was surprised at her after she gave her a kiss on the forehead and held his face gently. Tears were lining her eyes. Puzzled with his wife’s behavior, he just sat there thinking that probably his wife was finally decided to leave him for good. He couldn’t really blame his wife for doing so. Ted knew he wasn’t really a fit husband after all. Ted heard the sound of the gates of their house opening, the unmistakable sound of the cranky metal echoing. Then the sound of multiple heavy footsteps followed. That’s odd he thought, stood up and immediately raced to the door. He didn’t manage to open it for as he was about to, the force of two police men pushing him back jolted him. He could feel the coldness of the metal cuffs embracing his wrist and the vague voices of the men pinning him down.

Ted took another blink as he was assisted to the hallway outside their room, the face of his crying wife at the end of it. Ted looked up the stairs from where the attic was located and saw a couple of police men banging and destroying the door. He asked the policeman who was holding him why was he being arrested. The policeman just stated “you’re arrested for the murder of John Paul Perez of block 9, Sirrius street.” Puzzled once again, he was thinking who that person was and why was he being arrested for his murder. Then he realized that it was the man from the window. Ted kept on saying to the officers that he was home all this time, staying at the attic but his words were left on deaf ears. He was struggling now to free himself and kept on explaining to the officers his whereabouts. As hey neared the end of the hall, Ted’s eyes looked upon his crying wife. He heard the officer thanking his wife for telling them the truth regarding the murder, and for informing them that his husband did it. Shocked with the information regarding his wife, he forcefully denied killing the man and that he was just at home. Ted even described the person killing him, clad in black and with what kind of knife. But the officers didn’t listen to him. the noise of the broken up door of his attic took his attention. He looked up the stairs going there and saw an officer carrying a black suit soaked in dried blood and another officer placing a knife similar to what was used to murder the man. Wondering why they were there, Ted just questioned the officers. It’s a setup he insisted. But the officers seemed to be all deaf.

Ted finally silenced himself. After much perseverance explaining about his side, he just sat inside the police car silent. He could hear the voice of his wife talking to the officer outside. “He’s so different lately, always locking himself inside that attic… till that day when he just pass by me… he was dressed in black, holding a knife… I thought he was going to kill me but he just went straight outside… when he got back, his hands and clothing were full of blood. I was so scared… I kept silent for a while as I was trying to observe him…” Ted’s jaw dropped upon hearing this. Trying his best to suck it all in. The cold metal cuffs tingling his skin and the sound of sirens piercing his ears. He looked outside the metal braced windows of the police car as the façade of the city he was living in pass by him, like the window from where he viewed the man before, he just watched… and watched some more.


Saturday, September 25, 2010

Meet the Fraglls!

After being caught up with my love of dolls after all this years, I just have this urge to create something of my own. Being aware now of what really is the doll world and meeting and talking to doll lovers all over the world specially the ones in the country who truly inspired me to do this endeavor, (Rudi, Matto, Kaye, Anj who btw is one of the best OOAK doll makers and artist in the country and Neil BIG BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL), it is after all an occurrence bound to happen. Perfect fit: My work as an accessory designer enables me to be extra patient and could work in fine details apt for the miniature world of dolls.

I was on a rush though, taking advantage of that rekindled passion. I originally planned on doing some ball jointed dolls for starters, being inspired by different sculptors I see on the net, and finding the perfect face for my doll line. But this would take a lot of time and practice before starting it. Then I realized the potential of my staff’s sewing capabilities and respond to my hidden affiliation with quirky and abstract things. So, I developed this other line of dolls called Fashion Rag Dolls, or for short Fragll’s.


Fragll’s is a concept inspired by the contradiction of a rustic and animated simple rag doll and the fine details seen with couture. Yes… that the idea, behind the luxury of couture details is a basic rag doll. Though this time, I made the doll more shapely and longer like fashion dolls are.

Hope I could release a sample batch soon after making these three prototypes. Keerah, Sunah and Alex, and also I could finish one sculpted doll soon and start the other line of fashion dolls. Keeping my fingers crossed.




Adding to that, all Fraglls are to be released with just one of each item since i could never duplicate my work ever since, so it's just a one time deal for every doll. Another site will be done for my Fraglls so don't worry for the online catalog.

kisskiss! :)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Weddings: The Cabalen Way!

This event can be summed up as the biggest assembly of more than fifty of the brightest wedding suppliers of Pampanga from events and image stylists to wedding venues, giving the province the proof of competitiveness and a higher creative edge among the nation’s best. Spearheaded by Voltaire Zalamea, the province’s top event planner and the brains behind Events and Concepts, the event was set to define the landscape of Pampanga’s Wedding Industry.

Comparing it to last year’s event, this year seemed to be a catalyst of what may be the future of Pampanga’s wedding industry… and I’m talking about really bright roads to further on. As Marbee Shing- Go (Wedding Essentials Editor in Chief) puts it on her article “It’s almost a mini-CITEM fair,” (for full article click HERE)… and yes it was indeed. Every exhibitor exceeded everyone’s expectations and more.

Aside from the presence of the editorial staff of the country’s best wedding bible Wedding Essentials, here are some more highlights of the event.

Pancho Pineda Pantig of Plumeria’s booth was divine. Opulent and utterly well thought of, Plumeria’s booth was a feast for the senses, pink flowers of different varieties in a backdrop of black and white linens, black satin cushioned walls and then framed with cascading bead draped pillars in shades of ambers and golds. It was voted as the best booth of this year’s bridal fair.

Another thing I noticed among the fashion designers was the use of tulle. Jojo Macapinlac’s ensemble was a multi tiered tulle gown and a heavily embellished bodice in crystals and flat stones, perfectly balanced for a red carpet themed wedding. Frederick Policarpio played it in with his signature clean lines and pleating with a touch of black sashes and belts to accentuate the waist, a conundrum of drama and romance with an absolute resolution of elegance. Marlon Tuazon took it up a notch with an aqua, black and dove grey number. Matt Basilio’s interpretation of the bridal gown leaned on the classic, beaded lace appliqué and embroidery flowing down to a pleated skirt. Glen Canlas, the youngest designer there stayed true by creating two youthful and modern looks for the classic and the adventurous bride, one version in full white and the other in touches of pink, both sporting geometric and sculptural details and softened with bead embroidery and crystal tussles.

The cake department has a mind of its own. The variety was so vast that only one thing could definitely unify them all, the use of COLOR. I didn’t see a classically made wedding cake but every cake supplier present there may be pushing the trend of color this season. Tiramisu showcased a cream fondant cake with purple flowerettes strategically positioned for better impact, accompanied with complementary smaller cakes in shades of violets and periwinkle. There was one close to a classic bridal cake though, and it’s by Bread-O-Cakes, white four tiered cake, bordered on the sides with sugar panels tied with raffia and an assortment of details like green sugar apples and white roses. Another version was done with green and white roses cascading over a four tiered green fondant number. Whimsy maybe the best word to describe the creations of DDL Homemade Cakes. A brown and pink leaning tower of cups, sort of a homage to Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, greets you at the entrance, and be welcomed inside by harlequin patterned multi layer cake with drapes, dice and playing card detailing in black, red and white colors. I was hoping to see next time more of the classic ones though. Every cake was promising with a little tweak here and there.

I could go on and on with the details like for the photo and video department, I could say that most really invested much on technology without sacrificing the artistry behind the craft. This is where you could distinguish the artistic photographer from the technical… most had the balance. Venues were aplenty too like 12 of them. GPR, Grand Palazzo Royal did turn heads by creating a garden within the mall (which is totally not impossible since they successfully recreated European Royalty in Pampanga,) while most event venues lured possible clients with witty and well crafted AVP’s of the venues and budget friendly packages. Food sampling was everywhere too with the caterers but I did stick to tasting the cakes. Nothing beats a sugar rush in the middle of a wedding extravaganza.

All in all, the event was so successful that it increased more than 50% from last year’s bookings. Congratulations to all who have participated and continuing to champion the creativity of the Capampangan Wedding Scene. And one more thing I noticed with all the suppliers, that in the sea of creativity present there and the air of what may look like everyone’s outdoing each other, it was actually otherwise. Behind those big names are people who become true friends with each other. The final night of the fair showed me that the unity present in the fair between suppliers is genuinely close to a family. The industry here is just small, with an immense capacity to be creative, but at the end of the day, as we all go to our homes and bidding goodbye to the latest couple who had their best day of their life materialized with the help of each individual mind contributing… the Pampanga wedding industry is in fact, a Family.

Details of the Participating Suppliers and other wedding suppliers in Pampanga click here.

Other Photos Click Here

Monday, July 12, 2010


witness a SHOWCASE of the BEST and MOST RESPECTED names in the Wedding Industry of Pampanga!

a 3-day Bridal Fair with lots of discounts and freebies to be given to soon-to-wed couples


for details. contact 0917-8139475
or go to their Facebook Event Page here

Sunday, July 11, 2010

WE: Finally Out on Bookstores Now!

click here, and discover the wedding of your dreams!

Wedding Essentials magazine July- December 2010 issue. Valerie Weigmann photographed by Doc Marlon Pecjo at the beautiful Shangri-la Boracay.Styling by Rey Santos. Hair and Make-up by Victor Ortega. Gown by Lui & Jon (And kinda matches my site too! haha)

Beloved Ashes

ashes caressed by the rain swept through the avenues of fragile glee...
ash transfigured into mush, murky like the darkest emotions of his heart...
i want to hold him, in his soiled state, i must and i did...
felt the gritty skin of his body close to mine...

I held him closer, pounding heart in a naked chest...
sobbing eyes like pearls... his strength gone, and dying- but it has to be...
i knew deep inside me he should. devoured by self, to be masticated into a new person...
i should wait, as the rain still pours... as his soul slowly diffuses...
as i fight the scene of witnessing the agony of a beloved

fell asleep while waiting... and as i opened my tired eyes, he's gone.
my face laden with gray dust... ash... the victorious rebirth i never saw.
My beloved left anew... heart full of grief i sat there. tears cutting through the ash on my face...
i was both happy and sad... alive and dead... asleep and awake...
i was both my beloved and me...

i was both my beloved and me... then a spark of hope.
He never left but instead became a part of me...
a mysterious union that only two genuine hearts could summon...
i could feel his cry when i cry... his words and mine come out of my mouth...
i could imagine his deepest thoughts in my memory...
one finally...

Choloisms Poetry June 18, 2010

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010


(from the FABULOUS! Blogazine Feb-Mar Issue)

Gay Love is the topic I imposed on contributors for this issue. It’s supposed to be romantic, almost giddy-ishly childish. But then as I waited for articles, I noticed the frequency was less than the number of the razor clipper of choice of my barber when I go to trim my hair. Zero. Odd, but I can’t help but think that most of the writers I asked to, seemed to be jaded with love, or don’t know where to start or simply pressured by the lovingly imposed task. Odd, but seemingly predictable for me. I’m not jaded, but I do shun the idea. Coincidentally though, that upon writing this column, Aretha Franklin was belting at my background singing “God Bless the Child.” God bless the child that got his own, the song states… and maybe that’s the situation here. Maybe in jaded-ness, one finds his independence, his own self, thus singleness. And singleness merged with independence can be addictive. Speaking for myself, that’s my case for now.

Rainbow Heart Colorful Love Images

Relationships for me is always imparted and shared. Like the love that comes with it, it should overflow from within in order to share it. Damn the script writer who made Tom Cruise say “You complete me” and the eventual eternal existence of the misleading statement. All I know is that you should love yourself first with all of your discrepancies, before you could love someone. And not find the emptiness or what’s lacking in you from others through relationships. That’s where I think the pitfall of jaded people starts. There is emotional dependency because of the lack of it for one self. No I’m not asking people to simply be narcissistically in love with themselves, but more of acceptance, and seeing your self in a different perspective as a vessel of love. And trust me, I learned that the hard way.

Sorry I’m becoming too preachy but I’m confident that I did hit some soft spots there. Susan Sarandon’s character on this particular movie that I totally forgot the title of encompassed the realistic view of what Love is and why people seem to be craving for relationships all the time… She uttered these lines in a very casual manner and with conviction… “we just need witnesses to our lives.” Hurtfully frank but true. We engage ourselves in the hooplah called relationships because we primarily needed witnesses to our existence. And as humans we naturally become emotionally attached with the idea backed up with media romanticizing the real spectrum it. The thought of being alone, growing old seemed to be threatening at the back of our minds, that in the billions of people around the world, one life wouldn’t matter unless you put the effort to be seen. That’s why we try to achieve something, we set goals, and involve other people to engage in our live and that includes wives, husbands, friends, partners even for some, pets.

Bottomline here. Am pointing out how you see relationships and clearly defining it for yourself. It’s not an obligation that we should accomplish but at the same time it’s a very joyous interaction at the same time. No one is wrong on how they respectfully view it for as long as there is happiness involved. I’m speaking for the single people who love being single but I also commend the people who are in relationships and fighting for them through thick and thin and working it through the true sense of the word. Love, in the first place, is what makes us human and special so why not? 

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Early in the morning, tensed and groggy from lack of sleep, I eagerly await the live telecast of the 2010 Grammy awards. Sipping my coffee and after my second cigarette, the voice over started and the stage was flashed on the screen. Hearing the familiar sound of a now gay culture icon, I stopped puffing my cigarette and fully focus on what I’m watching. Then a platinum blond Lady Gaga jumped from a platform wearing this high cut, exaggerated shoulder in aqua-turquoise ensemble only she could run away with. Superb performance I thought. I went on watching the awards show till I reached the part when Jennifer Hudson entered the stage wearing this black gown with sleeves oddly familiar. Tamer than Lady Gaga’s but still the exaggerated architectural sleeve gave me feelings of familiarity, like the ones you have when you have de ja vu’s. Then upon the end of the show I finally realized what it was. In one word: Tarik.

Having been in the fashion industry for quite some time now, I do have a little understanding on how my fashion designer- clients construct the butterfly sleeves. A certain amount of precisely executed pleats, should be strategically placed along the part where the shoulder and strap of the dress is to meet. And based on my observation from the fashions the artist I’ve mentioned, their sleeves are similarly constructed to have that full structural detail. I wondered if I was going to be proud since it’s another way of pointing out to the world “The Filipinos thought of that style a long time ago” or fashionably jaded since why didn’t a Filipino designer thought of that way ahead of their European counterparts?

The trend is really out there. I browsed through a lot of collections from international designers and they too emulate and constantly developing the trend. Who would have thought that the sleeve shape of the Filipiniana would have massive international and pop appeal. Then again, no Filipino is responsible maybe because we are more geared to adapt than to set trends. In a general view of what’s the state of Philippine Fashion, I do salute the people who try their best to push modern Filipiniana, like Gaupo, Tan Gan with her vast collection of Knit-indigenous blend collection, twisting the costume like into wearable outfits. Maybe that’s what we lack. Tan Gan bravely put herself forth to push for the look, but hey I must also stress that she’s been doing this for so long now, and almost alone with no younger generations to push forth what’s needed to make our brand Filipiniana, have that international buzz.

Though after analyzing such an inevitable topic, I do have this other thought in mind: What is Filipiniana in the first place? This thought led me to surmise again the article that my friend, famed shoe designer Brian Tenorio, wrote about what defines “Filipiniana.” In passing, Brian pointed out that “World-Filipiniana, on the other hand, is that area in space where products are Filipino either by origin, design, or execution with qualities that take on the global aesthetic.” Assuming that indeed a Filipino, maybe an assistant to the main designer somewhere in Paris or Milan, may have suggested the sleeve detail and eventually snowballed the detail in to international fame, should we as Filipinos then could claim the trend even though at the inside of that Swarovski encrusted number Lady Gaga wore states the name of a designer we could barely read fluently? Anyways, that is another blog. One thing’s for sure though, even though the starlets of Hollywood and the world of international pop music may be sporting the trend, way before the Jenifer Hudson open side version in black, or Rihanna’s suited puffy one… or even Gaga’s ga-ga versions… we have our own Lady ever loyal to the sleeves, way before it became an international “trend”… Lady Imelda. LOLs.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In Pursuit of Happiness

Last year, around the start of December, was so symbolical in my life, an event so personal I couldn’t really share it on public. Anyways, the point is, that event made the catalyst to alter the way I think regarding life. That no matter what you do, you’ll be greeted at the end of the day by the realization of your existence as a speck in an ocean of people. With that in mind I realized one thing, that in my insignificance, I should do something to make my life exist, at least on a personal level. First I drew the outlines of what defines my happiness.

What is happiness? Is it just a feeling or way of life, or even something that can be dictated by the laws of man and God? Is making yourself happy trickle the fences between selflessness and selfishness? Is happiness just a myth specially to those people whom you find miserable all the time, and thus concluding for yourself that it could actually happen to you? Then a big light bulb moment happened while I was finely slicing one pungent onion in the kitchen. Most of us forget how subjective happiness is. It’s what we make out of it: outline done.

Surmising on that thought all month was no easy deal. I can make a list of the most complex items, events and circumstances that might make me happy but analyzing each one of them would yield either others being sad or even like a pop up book, would surprise you that it’s not really what makes you happy after all. Inconclusive still, I just stopped thinking about it. I committed myself to hosting one big new year’s dinner for friends without even thinking about it. My mind was occupied to what will I serve that night and the possible logistical nightmares along the way towards that one big event.

January 1, 2010… New year’s dinner morning, I started to knead the dough for my Hoisin Duck Wraps. Like I maniacal domestic goddess I started to make my way around the kitchen with friends to slave along, hectic and unrelenting, non stop chopping and cooking all day. The two Ducks I’ve ask a friend to freeze in their home didn’t come on time since he was so drunk the night before. The hand made dim sums I put in a chiller suddenly drenched in thawed ice and watered down and had to be rewrapped again in full dexterity, the rice noodles I tried to ever perfect over cooked again while I just blanched them in boiling water. One after the other everything was not in sync with what I planned for. A disaster waiting to happen I thought. So I braced myself for the worst.

Frantic and panicky, I started to recover from the ashes I befall on myself, manning my slave friends and the non stop trouble shooting prettily iron things out. The dough I made earlier cracked while rolling the not so tender duck and a few drowned down sprigs of spring onion. I don’t care anymore. I was tired, having a splitting head ache, and the turquoise shirt I was planning to wear (since I did advise everyone to wear turquoise for the dinner) that night didn’t really fit me at all. But I was just there looking at everyone, and even though with all the errors that day I was in fact HAPPY. I thought, maybe this was really how being genuinely happy is. You disregard all negativity, the complexities of over analyzing things and then trimming down to one genuine feeling and ultimately appreciating the simplicity of how thing’s were and are. The first guests came and the first person I greeted wasn’t really wearing turquoise, but that didn’t really affect me at all. What was running through my mind was hoping that everyone will enjoy each other’s company, the food and simply celebrating the new year together as good friends and as good people.

Now, as I remember that day, I feel blessed and happy to have achieved such level of thinking: realizing that happiness isn’t really a personal thing that you bestow on yourself, but an energy that you share in connection to other people. This is where happiness embodies a new definition… it is not just subjective, but also it is relevant. Simple. Happiness is a life force that bonds people together. A new year is ahead for all of us., and maybe as Fabs members, we aren’t really here just because, we share a common lifestyle, or ideals or even just by mere association. Maybe the group has formed and still exists till now simply because all of us are in pursuit of happiness and that happiness we somehow found in each other’s company. Admit it or not.