“For Christ’s sake Ted, how are we supposed to survive this if you’re out of you job? How are we supposed to pay the bills? You’re just barely 30 years old and jobless…” a woman with a vindictive tone stressed out to Ted. Ted just sat there in his easy chair while his wife nagged him relentlessly. Ted had a bad day earlier and that his temperament didn’t handle it well. His volatile behavior sent him jobless after bad mouthing his boss back at the office. The sound he heard from his wife, due to its frequency and repetition became vague to him, more of distant noise coming from the pits of the earth. Nothing made sense to him really, and after he indulged his temper at his office, the last thing he wanted to do is to give another serving to his wife. Ted stood up as his wife sang the same nagging bit, and went upstairs towards the attic where his personal space and office was located.
He could still hear his wife’s ire as he sat down his cozy chair near the window. There he lit up a cigarette and opened the window a bit. He took a deep puff of the cigarette, feeling the smoke filling his lungs and then exhaled it to an almost straight line. He looked down and observed the neighborhood they were in. Silent roofs, with protruding TV antennas, walls upon walls of houses, littered his sight. Then his view chanced upon one window that was still lit a couple of meters from him. Ted could see the fixed bed of cool white cotton, warm lights illuminating the desk near the window, and the curtains that flimsily riding the cool wind of the night. He took a second puff of smoke and there he saw this young man, roughly in his early 20’s entering his room. The man placed his sports bag on his bed, and sat down near the desk. Ted could see the profile of the man, youthful face, with a regal nose and droopy asian eyes. Ted just sat there, watching, and almost jealous of this guy in his room, taking in all the silence and an almost serene look to his face. Comparing to his life now, Ted knew, his was so different now with a nagging wife to boot.
Ted finished his cigarette as he went on watching the guy behind that window. He searched his pocket to look for his pack of cigarette and was distracted by the appearance of a woman and kissed the guy on the lips. Ted lit up his cigarette as he watched the couple disrobed and became more intimate. Ted leaned on to have a closer look and gingerly reached for the lamp switch near him and turned it off. The woman was caressing the guy’s crotch as she nibbled his ears with languid movements. The heat that was coming from that room was so intense, Ted could almost feel the warmth on his face. Ted was so in to what he was watching that he just caught himself rubbing himself. His hands could feel the stiffness of his nipples, and the goose bumps that were crawling down his back. Ted’s breath deepened, almost gasping as the two crinkled the cotton sheets lining the guy’s bed, passionate groping, the supple breast of the girl being caressed by the strong hands of the man. The man placed the woman face down to the bed and removed her underwear, he squatted behind her and forcefully pumped her from behind. Ted was fondling his hardness inside his office pants, feeling the wetness that was coming out of his shaft, slowly caressing it up and down. He could feel he was getting close at every stroke, immediately placing his pants down as he jerked off faster. Ted closed his eyes as he climaxed, feeling the warm juice of his member cascading along his cheeks. He took another deep breath as he looked upon the couple again. The lights were off.
Due to his free time because of being jobless, Ted’s little secret became a regular thing for him. Ted would sit by his window and watch the couple have sex. He even memorized the day and time of such occurrence. He knew within him that he can be bordering stalking now, though in denial still and always reassure himself that a little peeping tom wouldn’t hurt. But as time went by, he noticed that he was already obsessing about him in the attic, almost planning his day around the times that he was about to watch the couple. He forgot about his working wife and just be silent around her. He became complacent and inadequate for his goals, practically crumbling down and succumbed to his obsession.
One time as he was preparing himself near his window, he saw the familiar form of the couple. Something was odd he assumed as they weren’t really as what he always see them to be. He could see the fierce face of the woman talking forcefully to the man in front of her. The man was trying to explain something to the woman but was slapped shut by her, immediately walking out of him and out the door. Ted could see the sorry state of the man, almost sympathizing with him. Ted’s live sex show, all of a sudden, became this real life drama unfolding, much like a silent movie, Ted surmised. He prepared himself to end this silly endeavor. Then suddenly, the lonely man lay down on his bed, just looking up his ceiling. Ted just sat there and puffed his cigarette heavily, anticipating. The man started to touch himself, feeling his whole body, mouth open, back arching in pleasure… till he removed all his clothing. Ted had this feeling of pleasure upon seeing the man without his usual partner. Trying to asses himself on why he was finding pleasure on a man touching himself. His mind went blank and realized that he’s already fondling his hardness. Ted watched intently, stimulating himself with each pulsating stroke. The man was stroking his member furiously now and in a burst of energy released his juice all over his chest. Gasping for air, he laid there, playing with his man juice and even trying to taste it. Ted found that scene curiously enticing and followed the man’s climax with his.
It’s been this way for a while. Ted was always looking forward for another take with the man behind the window. Though in denial with the nature of his acts, Ted didn’t really delve into it, for as long as he found pleasure, it doesn’t really matter he thought. Then came the moment when Ted’s beliefs were put to the test. One night while he was sleeping beside his wife, he caressed his tired wife like it was the first time they did it. His wife, bewildered but curiously satisfied with his act, just succumbed to the moment. As he was caressing his wife’s breast, a sudden instinctual surge guided his hands towards his wife’s member. He stopped upon his hand’s arrival at its destination, and felt disappointed which was odd for him. Ted did hope for another thing which he can’t deny, finally realized the fact that he was longing more of the man behind the window than his wife. He stopped, went back to sleep and left his wife guessing and hanging.
The next day, Ted was adamant to go back to his attic, and another view of that man, who for weeks he’s been watching so eagerly. Standing at the door, he was thinking deeply. His breath was almost racing beyond him. The hair on his back started to rise as he heard the screech of the door as he opened it. The smell of stale air and smoke filled his senses. He closed his eyes and took it all in. This simple and foolish endeavor has transcended into something that his mind and totality couldn’t really grasp. Ted knew that something within him was changed along the way, he was thinking none of them were for the better. He neared the window that witnessed everything about him lately and took another glimpse of the other window from where the nameless man resides. The lights from there were off, only the stark darkness filling the space within. Both relieved and disappointed, Ted went on his chain smoking. He was relieved because he knew his behavior went beyond his limitations and disappointed for he has to stop this sooner or later. He pressed the cigarette but on the ashtray as he was preparing to leave and finally move on with his life and then the light from the infamous window glisten his watery eyes. With widened eyes he leaned forward to have a better view and felt a pang of jealousy upon what he was viewing. The man was sitting on his usual chair near the window while an unmistakable muscular pair of legs lay on the bed. Ted couldn’t believe what he was looking at. The man on the bed stood up, naked, his hairy chest and an angular, handsome face soon visible to Ted. The two kissed passionately and soon after the other man dressed up and finally left. His heart was filling with ire and the odd feeling of jealousy, obsession. Soon after, Ted just realized that he just finished five cigarettes consecutively.
Ted turned his back on the window while he wallowed on his undeniable surge of emotions, the darkness of the night enveloping the sky. He heard noises from the other window and caught his attention. There he saw the man still sitting on his chair being attacked by another person clad in black. He could see the fear from the man’s actions as he begged for his life. The person cloaked in black was holding a knife and was starting to stab him furiously. Ted was shocked with the succession of the events that as he collected himself, it was over. The white cotton sheets of the bed was splattered with red spots of blood, the man he was viewing for some time, was on the floor, swimming in his own blood. Utterly bothered and disturbed, Ted just stood there with a blank face. Time flew swiftly and when he finally recovered from the shock, Ted ran for the shower to relieve himself further. As the water cascaded throughout his face, he could feel his heart still racing, his guilt wading silently on his spine. The cold rush of water just relieved the physical flushing on his skin, but can’t cleanse the disturbed soul inside him. He sat on the cold tiles and could almost see the blood from the murdered man flowing off his feet. Ted was kicking the bloodied water away from him. Obviously traumatized, he just continued to sit there, sobbing silently as he was caressed by the calming water of the shower.
After he showered, and his mind was relatively sound for a while, Ted managed to lock the door of the attic and even added some more padlocks to secure it further. Days went by and he never left the security of his bedroom. His wife now was acting strangely on him. Ted grew thinner with each day, not taking in the food his wife was giving him. He could still feel the same emotions on that eventful day, from the stamp of scare on the man’s face to how many times he was stabbed like an animal. Ted couldn’t let it out of him. Then one day, as his wife was about to leave the house for work, ted was surprised at her after she gave her a kiss on the forehead and held his face gently. Tears were lining her eyes. Puzzled with his wife’s behavior, he just sat there thinking that probably his wife was finally decided to leave him for good. He couldn’t really blame his wife for doing so. Ted knew he wasn’t really a fit husband after all. Ted heard the sound of the gates of their house opening, the unmistakable sound of the cranky metal echoing. Then the sound of multiple heavy footsteps followed. That’s odd he thought, stood up and immediately raced to the door. He didn’t manage to open it for as he was about to, the force of two police men pushing him back jolted him. He could feel the coldness of the metal cuffs embracing his wrist and the vague voices of the men pinning him down.
Ted took another blink as he was assisted to the hallway outside their room, the face of his crying wife at the end of it. Ted looked up the stairs from where the attic was located and saw a couple of police men banging and destroying the door. He asked the policeman who was holding him why was he being arrested. The policeman just stated “you’re arrested for the murder of John Paul Perez of block 9, Sirrius street.” Puzzled once again, he was thinking who that person was and why was he being arrested for his murder. Then he realized that it was the man from the window. Ted kept on saying to the officers that he was home all this time, staying at the attic but his words were left on deaf ears. He was struggling now to free himself and kept on explaining to the officers his whereabouts. As hey neared the end of the hall, Ted’s eyes looked upon his crying wife. He heard the officer thanking his wife for telling them the truth regarding the murder, and for informing them that his husband did it. Shocked with the information regarding his wife, he forcefully denied killing the man and that he was just at home. Ted even described the person killing him, clad in black and with what kind of knife. But the officers didn’t listen to him. the noise of the broken up door of his attic took his attention. He looked up the stairs going there and saw an officer carrying a black suit soaked in dried blood and another officer placing a knife similar to what was used to murder the man. Wondering why they were there, Ted just questioned the officers. It’s a setup he insisted. But the officers seemed to be all deaf.
Ted finally silenced himself. After much perseverance explaining about his side, he just sat inside the police car silent. He could hear the voice of his wife talking to the officer outside. “He’s so different lately, always locking himself inside that attic… till that day when he just pass by me… he was dressed in black, holding a knife… I thought he was going to kill me but he just went straight outside… when he got back, his hands and clothing were full of blood. I was so scared… I kept silent for a while as I was trying to observe him…” Ted’s jaw dropped upon hearing this. Trying his best to suck it all in. The cold metal cuffs tingling his skin and the sound of sirens piercing his ears. He looked outside the metal braced windows of the police car as the façade of the city he was living in pass by him, like the window from where he viewed the man before, he just watched… and watched some more.
-END-
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